I Use To Date Assholes

"I use to date assholes," she answered back.

Five words that summarize the dating experiences from a multitude of my formerly single girlfriends, whom later fell in love with good men.

 A simple sentence that describes my romantic life over the last eight years ... I use to date assholes...  but, now I don't and I have never been happier.

First of all, let's define what an asshole means and defer to Urban Dictionary, that provides accurate and comical definitions for every day words.

According to Urban Dictionary, an asshole is someone being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, or just a total dickhead.

Example: Sean is being the biggest fucking asshole I've ever met in my life!

Thank you Urban dictionary for confirming what I know is true. I have dated far too many assholes and I am sure you have too!

UGH. Yes. I admit that I have chosen to date assholes. Let's be honest. I like really confident men. Sometimes that borders cocky. Which in a Venn Diagram, cocky and asshole would intersect.

Within the last two weeks, I had decided to start broadcasting live videos on social media, expanding my connection to the world, by discussing topics that I often write about on my blog. To my surprise, I have been receiving wonderful feedback from my loved ones, as they share their own life experiences.

Last night, I surveyed my friends and followers on how they met their significant others and have enjoyed discovering their unique love stories.

How did you find love? 

It turned out that when most had declared to give up on love, that is when life took a twist and love found them when they were least expecting it.

As my girlfriend Dawn shared, "John and I met at a party I threw at my apartment. He doesn't like to admit it, but he pursued me. I had given up on the town in which we were living, figuring I would find someone when I moved to a new city, but he sure took me by surprise and he proposed 6 months later. I love our love story. I'm a believer in the sappy cliche that love will find you when you least expect it."

Another woman added, "Shortly after my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I was invited to sing back up in a country band by a friend of mine. I found my husband singing in a band!"

Finally, one of my child hood friends commented with her own unique love story, "I got in a car accident, lost a dog, blamed him for having it and he helped me look. I cried and did not say thank you. The very next day, he asked me out and I told him to go home! He's younger and said, 'It's just a movie' and here we are 12 years and 4 kids later!"

One of my favorite love stories belongs to my girlfriend Tatiana followed her love all the way to Australia after a chance encounter while working at a shop in Waikiki.

Tatiana recalled, "I noticed Alec passed by my store and my eyes almost popped out of my head. He passed by again an hour later and I quickly offered him a moisturizer sample, so I had an excuse to talk to him. Awkwardly, I said 'you're hot' and thought he had no interest in me. He asked me what I was doing after work. He came back with a couple of mopeds and we drove off for our first adventure together. Three months later, I moved to Sydney to continue the fun and I am still on this crazy ride."

Love found all of these women when they were least expecting it.

Dawn found John at her own party. Robyn found Waylon singing back up in a country band. Jaime literally crashed into John in a car accident. Tatiana saw a cute tourist walking past her store.

You NEVER know when LOVE will surprise you with a new stranger.

Despite my struggles with dating, relinquishing my singleness and wanting to fall in love again one day, deep inside me still remains a woman who believes in the sappy cliche that love will find you when you least expect it.

Not hokey, fantasy world, unrealistic, chick flick love, BUT the nitty gritty love that challenges you and changes you.

I won't lie though... after years of being on my own and going on a gazillion good dates and bad dates ... I just want to meet a genuinely good man who I want to spend time with.

Why is it so damn hard to find? 

Why is it always a let down?

Why are so many assholes out there?

Are all the good ones taken?

Will it ever be my turn?

It seems to me that dating assholes is par the damn course in the game of love. Not every swing is going to result a hole in one and the temptation to quit may strike you during this loooooooonnnnnggg game, but you just have to play on through.

Don't give up! 

Despite the assholes, ding bats and ding dongs you have have to sift through in your search for companionship and romantic love; I do believe that there are caring, thoughtful and wonderful people still left in the world.

After many years of solitude, filled with lessons in self love and exploring the world, I feel I am ready to open my heart again.

I never thought I would say that or want to welcome love back into my life... but I genuinely long for companionship, intimacy and fostering a loving relationship.

I have so much that overflows from my heart.Sadly, I have wasted nearly a decade letting bitterness and doubt take refuge in my heart because of the pain of my past. But, for the love of God, please no more assholes who are just a waste of energy and time.

Just so I am fair and entirely clear, both men and women can be total assholes. Modern dating can be incredibly frustrating for everyone.

GOD. I have dated so many assholes, I stopped counting or even caring. Whether it was the married guy who pretended he was single or ones you ghost you after a month of dating, I've lost interest in dating entirely.

I know what I want and so far none of these fellas are making the cut.

Honestly, just last week, I resigned myself to a lifetime of just being in a relationship with just me, myself and I. After all, I spent the last few years falling in love with my life of single freedom and fun. I know I am not the only one who experiences this.

Every woman I know has dated an asshole and was ready to adopt a caravan of cats for spinster hood. Even my male friends admit that most of the men out there are "fucking clueless" and have told me that they feel sorry for women.

But, there is that voice inside me that encourages me not to give up and not give into bitterness because then I turn into a complete asshole.

Maybe one day, I'll have my own story to share with my single girlfriends of finding love when I least expected to...


Sweet Cicily

Modern Love

“I am somewhat deferential in the company of women, and I had made a conscientious effort to avoid any touch, any word that might be construed as improper. With that the arrangement sailed along with no problems, soon settling into a job done and forgotten — at least until Belinda.”

Every morning, during my daily commute to work, I press the play button on my iPhone and listen to my favorite podcast. Modern Love, a series of essays featured in the New York Times, always keeps me company. 

Words from strangers, sharing their joys and tribulations with their own experiences of love, resonate with every fiber of my being. 

Although, at times, I've wanted to throw my arms up in the air and surrender myself to a lifetime of singleness; I am not ready to give up on the possibility of sharing a deep connection with someone special. 

Forget the fairy tales or romantic comedies with predictable endings. Give me a love that will shake my core and inspire me to explore my passions with a true partner in life. 

I don't just want someone to hold my hand and put a ring on it. Take my f*cking hand and let's lift each other up through the hills and valleys. 

Why is this so hard to find? 

Eight years of solitude. Eight years of singleness. Will it ever be my turn? 

Despite multiple times swearing off men or convincing myself to just forget about finding love, there is a part of me, buried deep inside, hidden beneath dusty layers of self doubt and a deep shearing hurt, understands that genuine love is worth the fight and worth the wait. 

At times, I have an internal struggle of holding on fiercely to my freedom and opening up my life to someone else. Do I sacrifice my independence for companionship? Do I even want to put in the work that is needed for a relationship to thrive?

Risking everything I have worked so hard to rebuild over the last eight years frightens me. 

Love can be complicated, frustrating and messy. Life right now for me is simple, happy and in order. Is it overrated? Is it worth it? Is it what I really want? 

I live safely in the confines of my singleness, but at times it can be a lonely place.

Even after all these years, I am still searching within me for the answers. Vacillating between loving and living a life on my own and wondering what it would be like if I opened my heart once more. 

As I was listening to this morning's podcast, about a paralyzed man in a wheelchair, who had given up on love -- until it show up at his front door, in "A Heart Outrun", I reminded myself that love can find you when you least expect it and even when you resist it. 

After you listen to this beautiful story, you will be ruined and fall in love with love all over again. 

Maybe I shouldn't over think it and trust that one day a bridge between isolation and connection will carry me into another beautiful chapter in my life. 

What is the most frustrating part for you about modern love? 


Sweet Cicily

Turning Your Dreams Into Reality

"The courage to live brings it's own rewards."

Every day presents us with the gift of 1,440 minutes or opportunities to work towards actualizing our dreams.

Whether you take advantage of these moments or squander away your 1,440 ticks on the clock, it is entirely up to you.

Stop putting your dreams on hold.

Regrettably, like many women, I put my dreams on hold to support my partner's dreams, as a good wife/mother should or that's what we're taught in this society. 

Sadly, one day I woke up and realized I no longer had dreams of my own. Maybe you have felt this too, but don't want to honestly admit this to yourself?

After my divorce, almost eight years ago, I made the choice to pursue my dreams relentlessly.

Transforming your life requires taking chances in order to make things wonderful things happen.

If I wanted to see the Mona Lisa and stand in the Vatican's Sistine Chapel, it was up to me to buy the plane ticket to Europe. 

If I wanted to become a publishe author, I had to submit my writing pieces to editors and risk multiple rejection letters, before my word was shared with the world.

If I wanted to pursue pin up photography and fully transform myself from frumpy mommy to pin up queen for a day, I needed to stop standing in the way of my own dreams with self doubt.

Be whoever YOU fucking want to be and make that shit happen NOW.

Enough with the excuses. Enough with worrying about now what other people think.

What do you want?

We already have the power to transform our dreams into reality, but we must be willing to put in the work.

Fortune favors the bold, so you must make the choice to be bold in your actions and mindset. 

Playing it safe keeps you content and comfortable. Taking chances offers uncertainty initially, but paves the path for endless opportunities and enormous personal growth.

Forget the naysayers and self doubt. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, "What do you want to pursue in life?"

Over three and half years ago, I watched this YouTube video called Beauty In Strength, which featured several prominent CrossFit athletes, such as Jackie Perez and Rita Benavidez, in which they shared their views on how strength transformed their views on beauty. 

Watching these women lift heavy weights and sharing their positive experiences with CrossFit as women really had an impact on me. Immediately, I knew that was the kind of woman I wanted to be...  beautiful and strong.

A week later, I signed up for my first Introduction to CrossFit class at CrossFit Kailua and my life has profoundly changed ever since.

Although, I not even close to their levels of athleticism, I have transformed myself into a beautiful and strong woman and take great pride in my accomplishments and progress.

Not only have I have grown mentally and physically stronger, but I now have three CrossFit Opens under my belt, fostered many wonderful friendships in the community and now professionally write for a major CrossFit online publication. 

Was joining CrossFit a far stretch and intimidating? Hell yes it was! 

Honestly, for the first year, everytime I walked into the box, I had  sweaty hands and scared out of my mind. 

But... I never gave up on my dream.

When I first started CrossFitting, in order to keep me focused and motivated, I placed a picture of both Jackie Perez and Rita Benavidez on my vision board. Never did I imagine I'd actually get to meet both women during my CrossFit journey.

By taking a chance on myself, I was rewarded with the opportunity to later meet BOTH my CrossFit idols that inspired me to join CrossFit many years ago.

Not only did my CrossFit Coach Gilbert Arizaga, who changed my life and I'm so grateful for, share my Tabata Times article with his friend Jackie Perez, but she connected with me and LOVED it. I'm excited to meet her the next time she visits our box.

Even greater, this past year, I met Rita Benavidez at my CrossFit box for a clinic workshop on snatches and it was such a wonderful life experience. Not only is her stretngth so inspiring, but I absolutely love how she is changing the way women embrace their strength and muscles as beautiful.

Both women are incredibly determined, smart, strong, humble, sweet and down to Earth. That is he kind of woman I've always aspired to be.

What about you? What do you want to do? Who do you want to be? What will be your legacy in this world?

I hope you this little slice of my life and I hope it brings your inspiration to go after your own personal dreams.


Sweet Cicily


When I was attending college in Boston, almost twenty years ago, I became a statistic.

I was sexually assaulted.

It was the year that I had turned 21 years old, legally able to drink alcohol and go to all the local college bars in Boston.

lived a typical college kid lifestyle. 

Studying during the day, waiting tables at night and partying on the weekends with all my friends.

Completely carefree and utterly naive... until one night... 

I had been invited to go out to a local bar with one of my girlfriends at Northeastern, who I also waited tables with at Chilis.

Why not? I didn't have anything else to do? 

Apparently, her high school friend, from her hometown in New Hampshire, was visiting Boston for the weekend and he would be meeting up with us near Fenway.

"He's a really nice guy", said my sweet girlfriend.

We all drank, danced and partied that evening.

I was in college. Wasn't this what I was supposed to do?

As the night progressed, the friend from New Hampshire, continued to buy me drinks. Eventually, he kissed me in a corner.

I felt guilt because I had a boyfriend. A boy who later became the man I would later on marry. 

I've never been unfaithful, but there I was in a bar kissing someone else.

I don't remember the walk home to my girlfriend's house because I blacked out. I  socially drank in college, but never to the point of losing control of myself.

What I do remember was waking up in a bed in the middle of the night and being sexually assaulted by the "nice guy".

I couldn't speak. I was paralyzed with fear. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I just wanted to get it over with. 

I told him to stop. He didn't. 

Like many other sexual assault victims, I immediately blamed myself for drinking, flirting and putting myself in a very bad situation.

It's my fault. I shouldn't have been drinking. I asked for this. 

The very next day, I took the train from my apartment in Alston all the way to Massachusetts General Hospital and walked into the Emergency Room.

Holding back tears, I told the nurse that I think I was sexually assaulted and I didn't know what to do.

Immediately, they performed a rape kit on me, you know like the ones you see on Law & Order. 

Just like that night, I just wanted to get it over with.

All I remember was crying in those cold stirrups. 

How did I end up here? 

Wasn't I smart girl?

Only one other person knows this story and he was the person I was scared to tell the most.

My boyfriend.

He held my hand and drove me to the local police station to file a police report.

I felt such guilt for drinking and allowing this to happen. 

But, I told my story to the detective and recalled details that I could remember. 

I'll never forget what he said, "We could take this to court, but it will be your word against his."

I didn't want to ever see the person who did this to me ever again. 

I knew if I went to court, I would be blamed for drinking and "asking for it".

I didn't pursue charges and left the police precinct that night because I already knew what the outcome would be.

Although, I rarely think about it, it still haunts me. 

Not all guys are "nice guys" and so I'm very cautious with men.

Almost twenty years later, I still remember his name.


Dan wasn't a nice guy.

Dan was a rapist pretending to be a nice guy.

There are many "nice guys" who are just like him that are simply predators.

Just this past week, the national news have been covering the Brock Turner rape verdict. 

A student athlete at Stanford University, was sentenced 6 months in prison, after violently raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster near a frat party.

I was further enraged to see his father excuse his son's heneous choices, by downplaying the rape to "20 minutes of action".

Sadly, we still live in a rape culture, where some men feel entitled to women's bodies.

We should teacher our sons and daughters that we should respect each other's bodies.

If someone says NO or they can't even articulate the word NO... then that means NO.

It doesn't matter if you're on a college campus or even in a marriage, NO means NO.

You don't owe anyone your body and don't blame yourself if someone forcefully violates you.

Guess what? The Brock Turners of the world are rarely reported and continue hurting other women.

We need to put an end to all this madness. 

Educate your sons. Empower your daughters.

Rape is wrong... 

It's time we stop blaming the victims and holding their violators accountable. 

Why am I telling this story? 

Honestly, I feel the more we share our truth and stories, the more we can help each other heal from our pain.

Statistically, I know I'm not the only one out there reading this now, that this has happened to. I want you to know you're not alone.

Why It Is Important To Take Care of Yourself NOW

When was the last time you decided to treat yourself to a day of pampering? 

If you're anything like me, oftentimes, between juggling demanding careers and raising a family, there is very little time left over in the day to dedicate to self care.

No matter how hectic life can get, I want to emphasize the importance of making sure you are taking care of yourself now.

Don't wait for the perfect time, because that day will never come.

There will always be work deadlines, soccer practices, homework, dinners to prepare; but never forget to take care of yourself first.

When I became a new mother, over nine years ago, an older woman gave me a valuable piece of advice.

We need to take care of ourselves in order to be able to take care of our families.

Whether it is taking a much needed bubble bath, taking an hour out of your day to work out, meditating with some candles or booking a hair appointment at a local salon, you MUST make yourself a priority.

We've become a society of mom martyrs that feel we have to do it all, until we are completely run down and wake up one day wondering what happened to the woman we once were?

Take care of yourselves emotionally, mentally and physically.

As one of my favorite lines on the show Parks and Recreations goes, "Treat Yo Self!"

Just recently, a new friend, Rafal, I had made at CrossFit in Kailua, approached me about visiting his wife's office in town for a much needed day of pampering.

Rafal had mentioned that his wife, Grace,  had offered to provide me with the latest spa facial treatment, in return sharing my experience with all my readers.

Seriously, I feel so blessed with wonderful writing opportunities like this! Honestly, CrossFit Kailua has always introduced me to the most generous and loving people.

Honestly, it's very rare I write reviews for companies, as I'm often approached by different businesses and don't feel comfortable advertising on the blog, but I knew this time it would be different. 

I believe in self care and supporting local business owners.

I want to remind others just how important it is to take of themselves and supporting your loved ones dreams! 

Despite being receiving multiple offers from different companies to write reviews,  I decline most because my policy is to write only about topics that I believe in or support fully. 

When I first met Rafal, I knew this man and his wife were true entrepreneurs, who are chasing their American dreams. 

In a way, they are creating their own Happy Ever After and isn't that idea of this whole blog? Sharing our experiences of living the lives we have always wanted?

Not only are they running several businesses, but they BOTH put their hearts and souls into their companies.

I have nothing but admiration for the dreamers and doers of the world.

Sincerely, they are both the sweetest and most down to Earth couple you will ever meet.

So, today I am sharing with all of you my amazing experience with New Esthetics European Perfection in Honolulu, Hawaii and I hope it encourages you to take your first step into self care.

I've never been fancy and I've always been frugal, so when I first walked into the Inside Infinity Life Center, I felt like a celebrity going in for her weekly spa treatment.

If I remember correctly, the last time I had a facial was nine years ago, after my son was born!

You better believe I was more than excited to be pampered!

Prior to my appointment, I had researched the HydroFacial treatment I would be receiving that day and was excited to read all the wonderful reviews.

It was even on an episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, where the women had a spa treatment for a day. For one afternoon, I got to be my own Real Housewife of Honolulu and it was fantastic.

No wonder those women are at the spa all the time, it's so much fun getting pampered!

Also, many popular magazine publications have written glowing reviews about the wonders of this effective, immediate results facial and I couldn't wait to experience it for myself.

Basically, here is a quick guide to the HydroFacial procedure, if you're curious to try it out for yourself.

Initially, I was nervous, as I've never done this before, but as soon as Grace welcomed me into her spa, I felt completely at ease.

All my stress melted away.

She is so sweet, professional and knowledgable in her field of experience. Without hesitation, I recommend my friends and readers to book an appointment with her today.

Your skin will thank you!

After my HydroFacial treatment, I felt like she erased ten years off my face. I couldn't stop touching my face, it felt like a babies bottom.

Even in my twenties, my skin didn't feel this smooth or glow as it did that afternoon.

Since having my treatment, my once troubled skin, hasn't had any breakouts and it feels more youthful.

When people are shocked to know that I'm almost forty, it makes me smile knowing it's because of good genes and taking care of my skin.

Don't wait to take care of yourself. Schedule yourself into your busy calendar for I Love Myself time. It only takes 30 minutes out of your month for a more rejuvenated, healthier and happier you.

Don't forget to click the link below to schedule your first appointment with Grace today.

Why Is Dating So Complicated?

Whenever my son spends time at his dad's home, I take the opportunity to go on a few dates to fill in the space during my free time. 

Over the past few years, I have gone on less and less dates because either my time is filled with juggling my different jobs, working out, enjoying time to myself or spending  more time with my loved ones.

Sometimes I ask myself these two fundamental questions: 1) Do I even want to have a boyfriend? and 2)  Do I even have time for a boyfriend?

Recently, a male friend of mine joked that we couldn't be in a relationship because I was already married to my "CrossFit cult".

Looking back, the last time I did have a boyfriend, which was many years ago, I was always having to choose between spending time with him or finding time for the activities that bring me happiness.

Although, I wanted to invest time in our relationship, I felt like I was cheating myself of doing the these that I love most.

He wanted me to be his whole world, but my world was already very full. At the time, living my life fully outweighed any benefits of having a boyfriend would have.

Our relationship ended for other serious reasons and we were not compatible, but I gained many valuable lessons from that experience- I was better off being happily on my own than coupled with someone who wasn't the right fit for my life.

I haven't found a boyfriend since because I am in no hurry to be in another relationship. 

Honestly, I am not sure where I would find the time between full time teaching, my part time jobs, being a single mom, CrossFit, writing, spending time with friends, traveling and just living a very life.

Let's be honest, relationships involve a great deal or time and energy, if you want to build a strong foundation. While I respect that, I am not sure I am willing to compromise what I have now for the unknown.

It may sound selfish, but I don't look it that way. I know myself very well and I stand firm on what I want in my life.

I am OPEN to romantic love, but I it is not a high priority in my life.

If I meet a fun, nice guy to spend time with, then I am all for it. But, I am not chasing after it like I did in my past.

Seven plus years of singleness has provided me the opportunity to work on the relationship I have with myself. It took me almost forty years to understand that I am a whole person and  not just half searching for it's counterpart.

Honestly, I know the day to day reality of relationships and marriages and I am not sure if that is something I actually want in my life... for now.

When friends share their relationship headaches, I am secretly thankful I don't ever have to deal with the drama and heartaches they experience.

Granted, many relationships are wonderful, but let's be honest, Facebook relationships filter out what no one really wants to see, like cheating, lying, conflicts, fights, etc.

When I date now, it's for fun and my chance to connect with new people, that may develop into something more.

No longer do I need a label of a boyfriend, fiance or husband. I am not in this frenzied rush to find "the One" because I don't believe in the notion that you only have one soul mate. I like that there are endless possibilities still waiting for me out there.

I have slowed down over the years, leaving behind my serial dating days. Quality of my dates over quantity is more important to me now. 

Dating hasn't been a priority, but occasionally I get curious to see who is out there, so I dip my feet in the dating pool. 

Last month, I went on a second date with a fella I went out with last year. My gut instinct told me it wasn't a connection.

Despite him being a complete gentleman and a genuinely nice person, we were not compatible in many ways. He was searching for a wife and wanted to have children. I wanted neither of those.

However, when he asked me out again, I figured I would go because he was one of the "good guys". I felt bad because the last time we went on a date, we had a great time, but I knew we wanted different things in life.

He wanted to settle down, I just wanted to spread my wings and not feel tied down.

The truth of the matter is, I don't have any desire to remarry or have any more children. I am in a very good place in my life right now.

Would I like to be in love? Of course, who wouldn't want to share those wonderful feelings with someone special, but I don't need marriage to experience this again.

It's been a challenge trying to find balance in my love life. Neither wanting to get married nor wanting casual relationships that leave you feeling empty. Is there a comfortable middle ground and will I ever find a partner who will understand and respect where I am coming from?

Over our date, we spoke very openly about what we are looking for. Not only was I completely transparent, I reassured him that he would find a wonderful woman who wanted to live with him in Alaska, share his enthusiasm for hunting and build a family together.

I am not that woman.

He admitted that he respected that I was honest and was so grown up about it. We ended the date throwing back beers, smashing into some buffalo wings and asking each other why was dating so complicated?

Why do you meet a really great guy, but have zero chemistry?

Why do you have crazy chemistry with terrible matches?

Why do we have to wait so long to find love?

Why can't it be simple?

Maybe it is true that you cannot hurry love and you simply just have to wait...

What was the hardest part of dating for you?


Sweet Cicily

Would You Ever Try Speed Dating?

Recently, one of my colleagues, a close friend and one of my favorite North Shore ladies, Amanda, had asked me if I would be interested joining her for a speed dating event in Honolulu's China Town. 

At the event, speed daters are promised ten dates in the the span of three hours and to top it all off, they would be providing us with free drinks and pizza. 

Heck, yeah, count me in!

Lately, I have been turning down dates, guys have been on the back burner, but I NEVER turn down pizza. Especially the pizza served at Bar 35 - it is so darn good. Next time I go there, if anyone offers to buy me drink, I will ask if they can buy me a pizza slice instead. 

Anyways, who turns down pizza? Not this little lady. Plus, who doesn't like having fun with your girlfriends. 

Over the past year, we have shared our adventures in dating with each other and solidified our single sisterhood bond. Whether we were commiserating over the difficulties of dating on a small island or attempting to top each other's really bad date stories, we understood one another's struggles to find love in paradise. 

After trying everything from multiple dating websites (i.e. Match, OKCupid, eHarmony, etc.)  to dating applications like Tinder, we were both open to meeting new people offline at a speed dating event with other singles. 

At minimum, we could have fun getting dressed up, meet 10 new men, have a cocktail, checked it off our bucket lists and hang out with a great girlfriend. 

So, on a quiet Thursday night, we met up in China Town at Bar 35 for a HI Speed speed dating event. 

Although, I didn't meet the love or my life or even feel a connection with any of the nine men who attended the speed dating event, I had a fun meeting new people. 

At this point in the game, I no longer get nervous going on dates, as I have gone on a few hundred first dates or at least that is what it feels like. Talking to strangers doesn't make me nervous and I don't put any pressure on myself when going out on dates. 

Zero expectations,  just enjoy the moment and get to know a new person better. Either I make a love connection, new friend or have a really great bad date story. 

When we arrived at Bar 35, we were greeted by the speed dating hosts and provided with a name tag to wear, two drink tickets (woot woot ) and a buffet of pizza at the bar. 

Looking around the room, no one had really caught my eye... except for the pizza. 

Where were the cute guys?!?! There's always pepperoni pizza I guess. 

Immediately, I knew no one was my type and I didn't feel any physical attraction to anyone. I know what I like, so sue me. 

Just go have fun. 

After a long day at work, starving to death, I smashed my face in pizza and prepared myself for my nine dates. 

All I could picture was the speeding dating scene disaster in the 40 Year Old Virgin and prayed I hadn't already dated any of my prospects. 

Before we were sent on our mini dates, each woman was assigned to a table for the evening, as the men would be rotating between throughout the night. 

Every 10 minutes, I had the opportunity to go on a "date" with a different man aaaaaaaaaannnnnndddd it was interesting to say the least. 

Fortunately, I was able to take notes during each date, because it's kind of a whirlwind of an experience and it's hard to remember everything. If you ever decided to try speed dating, take my advice and create hashtags for your dates in the notes (i.e. #armyhottie #nicesmiledentist, etc.) 

Honestly, it can be really difficult to get to know someone in 10 minutes.  Aside from what do you do for a living, what do you do for fun and all the other stand boring first date questions, you don't have that much time. 

Jotting a few key words describing each person would hopefully jog my memory for when it was time to choose my matches. 

Date 1 - Nice Asian professional man who traveled to New Zealand, loves to surf and was a self proclaimed "band nerd". Wasn't feeling it, but marked him as a YES, because I figured I should at least mark one person as a match. #bandnerd

Date 2-  A very, very, very short Asian man who teaches night school at the school I teach at. Not a match. #nightschool

Date 3 - Enthusiastic, young Navy guy who loves Japanese techno music, loves going to the clubs, saying "f*ck yeah" a lot...in ten minutes.  Definitely not a match. #f*ckyeah

Date 4 - The most serious architect and devout Catholic who didn't crack a smile. Silver lining. He has a job and doesn't live in a VW van. I was so bored and it was not a match. #jesusiswatchingyou

Date 5 -  NYC Bronx guy who still lives with his parents and loves working out at 24 Fitness. Laughed at me for CrossFitting. It's a Match! Just kidding.  #24hourfitnessdude

Date 6 - I don't remember anything much about this guy except he kept talking about meeting Garth Brooks, was wearing this velvet button up shirt and was blurting out "YOLO" every few minutes. I am pretty sure he was drunk by the time he got to my table. Wait. I know he was drunk because he told me he was "f*cking wasted" and hated his "crackhead dad". No match. #YOLO

Date 7 - Very quiet surfer who serves as a youth pastor and had really cool tattoo sleeves. Was raised by a single mom, but felt like pulling teeth trying to have a conversation. No match. #tattoosmcgee

Date 8 - Insurance salesman who loves to play golf all the time and partying in Vegas. I didn't think it was possible for anyone to be shorter than me, but I found him. ZZZZZ... no match. Where's the pizza? #geico

Date 9 - The weirdest doctor in the universe who I am pretty sure is a serial killer on the weekends. Ever get that vibe off someone? Nope. Nope. Can I go home yet? #shiftyeyes

Thank God it was finally over. 

Afterwards, as I was exiting the bar with my girlfriend, one of the fellas ran after me wondering why I was leaving so early. 

Somehow, he convinced me to stay for a drink, but I only agreed if he bought my girlfriend a drink too. 

He kept pressing me if I had chosen him as a match and could he get my phone number, which was incredibly uncomfortable. 

I downed my pineapple juice, said goodbye to the Asian Insurance guy and we headed over to an Irish bar in China Town to debrief our speed dating experience and check out this great musician playing at O'Tooles that evening. 

Honestly, besides the plethora of pizza, hanging out with my girlfriend at the Irish bar was my favorite part of the meeting. Just the two of us listening to great music at a great bar and laughing about our interesting night speed dating. 

Would I ever try speed dating again? Probably not. It wasn't for me. That's not to say it might not work out for you. 

Whatever you do, never say never and be open to trying out new things. You never know who you will meet or what experiences you might miss out on. 

Looking back, I'd rather just go out and meet people organically going to the places I already frequent or doing the activities I already love. Perhaps, it might be easier to find someone I share commonalities or some of the same interests. 

At this point in my life, if I meet someone great, then that is absolutely fantastic. But, if I don't my fabulous and full life still moves on. 

Would you ever try speed dating?


Sweet Cicily